‘I’m in the Seconds!’

Using his left foot!

Rufus, our eldest son, came back from school in an uncharacteristic melancholic mood last week. He’s normally upbeat, especially on a Friday because the week finishes with triple games. And for a sports’ loving lad, what’s not to love about that. But he looked decidedly under the weather, so I asked how things had gone. Not well. It wasn’t that the bottom had fallen out of his world. But it was pretty close.

He’d only made the seconds.

Spring term means football. Sadly the oval ball is consigned to the cupboard. The sports’ staff had divided the boys up into squads. After a few sessions casting their eyes over the talent before them they had to make some choices. Rufus had only made the seconds. He was in the first team last year. He was gutted. And there was a sense of incomprehension at the decision which, being a one-eyed father, I shared! I could have said, ‘it’s only footy’ and not a sport that really matters (which is what I really think). But I didn’t. I could have asked Rosslyn for advice about what to say. But I don’t think she ever got dropped in her life.

Let’s be honest. Making the seconds isn’t awful, though it feels like it when you’re not used to it. It’s actually quite an achievement in a school with 90 boys in the year group and only 7 boys in a team (though there are probably 10 in a squad). Footy isn’t Rufus’ sport. He’s small for his age. He’s just coming back into contact sport after a broken arm. But the simple truth is that (in the opinion of the selectors) he’s not good enough at the moment to make the first team. And that’s not altogether bad.

Rosslyn and I are grateful for this recent turn of events. We don’t like seeing our boy ‘crushed’ but there are lessons to be learnt. Rufus and I had a bit of a chat on our journey home. I can help with sport. It’s Biology and French that I struggle with. So we talked, on the hoof. And I’m sure that I said some useful things. But I’m pretty sure there was a whole load of dross as well. As I’ve reflected and we’ve talked some more, these are the four things I’ve said in response to being dropped. I wish I’d learnt them when I was younger. To my shame, I was rubbish at being left out of the starting XV or demoted to the seconds. These same four principles apply to all of us who play sport and have to cope with the disappointment of being told that we’re just not good enough at the moment.

1. It’s an opportunity to react to life’s disappointments. Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to. And that’s not a bad thing to learn, even if you’re only ten. I’m intrigued to see how he’s going to react. Lot’s has gone his way so far in life. He’s very good at the things he loves; namely sports. But that rich vein of form won’t last. And it’s going to be interesting to see whether he loses interest in the things where he doesn’t succeed. But it may help him put his sport into perspective. The danger is that whichever sport he’s playing that term can become the be all and end all. But there’s more to life than sports. And he needs to know that. The crushing sense of disappointment at being dropped does hint at some underlying issues that have been worth talking about. We’ll come onto those. But sport can become an idol even at such a tender age. And we’ve had a chance to talk about the appeal of sport and why we value it so much. Being dropped has been a good thing.

2. It’s an opportunity to realise that ability isn’t identity. In other words, we’re not what we’re good at. But that’s not usually how it works in a school (or in life). And in a boys’ school with a sporting pedigree, ability matters. One of the reasons that his transition in into a completely new school has gone so well was because he made his way into the first rugby team at scrumhalf. But I don’t want Rufus’ identity to be bound up with sporting success or which team he’s in, but with Christ. I want him to think of himself as belonging to Jesus more than he thinks of himself as belonging to any team, or indeed our family. I don’t want him to think of himself as being something because he’s one of the best footballers in his year. That’s arrogant. I want him to walk around gobsmacked that God in His kindness has given him the privilege of being a follower of Christ. That’s humility. God has picked him for Christ’s team. That’s all the selection he needs!

3. It’s an opportunity to respond by improving his game. He’s been left out of the first team for a reason; the coaching team don’t think he’s good enough. He could despair at the injustice of it all. Or he could go away and sulk, much like his Father would. Or he could go away and improve his game. This could actually make him a better player. He could stop coasting and actually apply himself to working out what he does well, what he contributes to a team and what he needs to work on. Presumably God gives us disappointments to remind us that we’re not the finished article; that there are areas where we could improve. And I’m not simply talking about his sporting skills. I’m talking about character. That’s why Rosslyn and I are pleased that this has happened. It’s provided an opportunity to focus on what really matters; namely what kind of boy he’s becoming not how good at sport he’s getting!

4. It’s an opportunity to remember that he’s part of a team. It’s not wrong to want to play at the highest level. He wants to play with the best and pitch himself against the best. But whichever level he ends up playing at, he’ll be part of a team. And that means that he has to play his part. After all, the key thing is not making the team but being part of the team. I think that this is the one thing I want him to learn above all. He needs to do what he can in the team that he’s in and not spend the whole time looking across at the first team game wishing he was there. His team, the seconds, can have a terrific season loving playing together and competing against other teams. And it could be a blast. With the group of boys God has given him to be involved with, he could be a real encouragement and help them become a great team where they’re more than the sun of their parts. That would be a far greater achievement than making the firsts.

Whichever team he ends up in, I’ll be there; supporting him whatever, encouraging him when he’s down, chastising him when he’s lazy and praising him when he’s playing his part.

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London Men’s Convention

Aussie Bishop Al Stewart

This year’s London Men’s Convention promises to be a cracker. I ought to confess a vested interest in talking it up. It’s been hugely influential for lots of our guys at church and so, as a local church pastor, I’m a big fan. That’s also why I agreed to be on the organising committee, even though I loathe admin.

There’s lots about this years’ LMC that’s stayed the same; solid meaty Bible exposition, uplifting praise and encouraging fellowship. That’s all there again. In spades. But this year things are also different. We’re meeting in Westminster Chapel not the Albert Hall or the ExCel Centre (which I’m alone in loving). We’ve gone for two conferences in one day to accommodate the numbers. And the price has been reduced to £18. We reckon people are feeling the pinch in these times of austerity. And so we’ve done what we can to make it more affordable. I guess not everyone will be able to find that sort of cash. But we’re hoping that within a congregation the men can sort it out so that no one’s unable to attend.

The subject matter this year is the Christian Man’s daily fight against the opposition we face from the world, the flesh and the devil. We’ve got Australian church planting Bishop Al Stewart, a real favourite from past conventions, to come and address the issues of the world’s lies and our fleshly desires. And we’ve bullied our own convention Chairman, Richard Coekin to speak about the contentious issue of satanic opposition. I’ve heard Richard on this subject before and his material was brilliant. It promises to be a great time.

You can find the flyer by following this link. Or check out the website.

In promoting the LMC at our evening congregation on Sunday, I said that we should consider going for three reasons

1. Go for yourself. We need help with this, don’t we? The battle against the worldly influence of peer pressure, the sinful desires of our hearts and the satanic opposition that hides behind them is unbelievably wearying. We need help for the fight. Some of us are casualties and we need mending. This convention is meant to help.

2. Go for your mates. They need our encouragement, support and accountability. I have every confidence that the talks will be great. But it’s the conversations afterwards, between people who know each other well, that often make the difference. With mates from church we can talk openly and honestly about the implications of what we’ve heard. And we can pray together, where we sit. And we can resolve to help one another pursue godliness. The effect of the convention ought to be felt long after it’s finished. Men who’ve travelled up together and returned home after a meal and a drink together can take what they’ve learnt back into their families, friendships, churches and workplaces.

3. Go for your church. The health of our churches depends on the existence and participation of godly men. Of course the women are significant, but you need godly guys busy in personal ministry throughout the congregation. Our Sunday School kids need godly male role models apart from their Fathers. Our young men in small group Bible studies need godly role models. Our unbelieving lads on Christianity Explored need godly role models. And so it goes on. This convention ought to help us begin to address the issue and think about the resources God has given us in the gospel to mature as Christian men and fight the good fight together.

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Should I Still Shop at Tesco?

I’ve been a bit slow on the uptake with this one. I think the key developments took place in the run up to Christmas, though the ramifications will no doubt linger on. It wasn’t until the holidays that I caught up with it. We were staying with friends over New Year. We needed one or two extra bits for supper. And so I suggested that we pop out to grab them from the local supermarket. But our host then explained that he was boycotting Tesco. I asked why. And he brought me up to speed.

Apparently Tesco has dropped its financial support of the mainstream charity ‘Cancer Research’ to become the headline sponsor of the London Gay Pride Festival. That’s an interesting call. One with a faint whiff of the ‘political’ about it.

The Christian Institute reported on this development on 15th November. They wrote this,

The supermarket giant has supported Cancer Research for more than a decade, helping the charity raise hundreds of millions of pounds towards combating the illness – estimated to affect one in three of the population.

But now the retail chain has signed a deal to become a major sponsor of Pride London, and will host the festival’s family area for the second year running. The family area will provide entertainment and activities for younger children.

The situation became increasingly heated when Nick Lansley, the Head of Research and Development at Tesco, posted some inflammatory remarks on his Flickr site. He wrote

‘I’m also campaigning against evil Christians (that’s not all Christians, just bad ones) who think that gay people should not lead happy lives and get married to their same-sex partners’.

At the request of Tesco, those comments have since been withdrawn. On 23rd December, the Christian Institute then reported that Tesco were re-considering their support of Gay Pride. A couple of days ago, in a needlessly provocatively piece in the Guardian, Martin Prendergast responded. He said that the idea that Tesco was about to repent was unfounded propaganda.

[To my mind, Prendergast's article is unbelievably irritating. It's laden with hopelessly inaccurate and jaundiced presentations of the Christian position. Just calling someone a fundamentalist, a bigot or homophobic doesn't mean that they are. He shouldn't be allowed to get away with such sloppy journalism, let alone the misrepresentation of the carefully articulated historic biblical position. But perhaps that's a rant for another post!]

Upon reaching his decision, my holiday host wrote this on the Tesco Facebook wall,

‘Sadly I will not be shopping at Tesco anymore; not when one of its senior staff, Nick Lansley, describes Christians as evil. If this becomes widely known, I would imagine it would put most Christians off from shopping at Tesco’s’.

Six minutes later this response was posted,

‘Hi (his name), This is a personal view and in no way of reflects the views and opinions of Tesco. Regards, Kaz – Customer Care’.

There were then some less conciliatory responses that were posted; mostly rude. None came from Tesco!

I applaud Tesco’s decision to distance themselves from Nick Lansley’s comments. And yet, it remains an odd decision for a mainstream retailer to give up supporting a charity and start funding an organisation that promotes homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle. They’re not naive. They knew what they were doing. So what to do?

I don’t have to shop at Tesco. We often do. But will we continue? I’m not sure, but I suspect not. There are alternatives. And if it’s good enough for Jamie, it’s good enough for me! So, awaiting Tesco’s repentance, it’s fair to say that we shall have a few more orange plastic bags in the Perkins’ under stairs cupboard.

The simple reason I’m going to stop shopping at Tesco is that I don’t support the LGBT agenda to redefine marriage. Marriage is marriage. It’s the union of a man and woman in an (ideally) permanent monogamous public relationship. A gay relationship isn’t marriage. It’s a gay relationship. It may be loving. It may be monogamous. It may be permanent. It’s just not marriage. It’s not homophobic to say so. I’m not irrationally fearful of people who face same sex attraction. I don’t even have a rational fear of homosexual people. I just think Tesco should be using their profits to lend their support to a charity like Cancer Research rather than promoting the homosexual political agenda.

I’ve asked myself what I hope to achieve by any boycott and whether it would make any difference. I don’t think that Tesco will change their policy simply because I’ve stopped shopping. We have a large family and a healthy appetite, we like the finer things in life but we don’t spend that much! Nor indeed will the letter I plan to write make that much of a difference. But if every Christian thought like that we shouldn’t expect anything to change. So I’m going to do something and not nothing. But I really don’t want to. It’s costly. I adore their beef, stilton and chutney sandwiches and their Devonshire fudge yoghurt is to die for. But I simply want to register my principled displeasure at the course of action that they’ve taken. I don’t think that they should be using their profits to celebrate a non-Christian lifestyle; one that when practiced habitually leads to exclusion from the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9&10). All sin does that, of course. But we tend not to celebrate other sins and play them onside. We call them for what they are; greed or drunkenness or anger and so on. We may be (and often are) immoral in our habits (and therefore in need of salvation by grace) but we at least don’t celebrate them for being immoral! But that’s what our culture is doing with homosexuality. We’re taking something which the Bible describes as immoral and redefining it. As J.I. Packer says ‘we’re sanctifying sin’. And so out of love for homosexual people everywhere we cannot simply go with the flow. All sin is serious. And it doesn’t stop being sin by saying that it isn’t!

So if Christians love people, then they’ll cop the flak for challenging the legitimacy of homosexuality and all sorts of other kingdom incompatible lifestyles. We know that people won’t be saved by avoiding these lifestyles. Jesus does that. But Jesus saves those who, in repentance and faith, repudiate their immoral lifestyles and try to turn from them. We never do so perfectly. But we do so really. I’m a Christian, an imperfect and inconsistent one for sure. But I’m repentant. In dependence upon God I try to turn from sin. The Bible is clear that the homosexual sexual lifestyle is not one that’s compatible with living as a disciple of Christ. It’s a lifestyle that’s to be repented of not celebrated. And so surely I can’t in good conscience support an organisation that redefines sin and seeks to make it mainstream. I know that this will make me hugely unpopular but sometimes it’s best to do what’s right not what’s popular.

So will I post on the Tesco wall? Unlikely. I don’t like getting abuse. Call me gutless if you must. I’m pretty sure I’d invite it without being able to carefully and lengthily explain my rationale! So after you! We’re going to get shot at. It’s going to be, and has been already, interpreted as bigoted and homophobic if we decide to shop elsewhere. Neither of which is true for me or any of the Christians I know. We love sinners (like us). It’s just that we not only believe the Bible, we live by the Bible. And we want to encourage others to live by God’s life giving word as well, so much so that we’re prepared to oppose those who discourage others from taking what it says seriously even if that means that we come across as anachronistic fundamentalists.

I’m not going to tell the congregations of which I’m the Senior Pastor that they have to boycott Tesco. But I’ll probably suggest that they should think seriously about it.

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